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For that reason, only married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage tweets. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. Dan said that divorce isnt a pleasant experience for neither the man, the woman, nor their children if they have any. And this is almost verbatim what we say when the other one looks at their phone. 25 Funny Relationship Tweets That Are Hysterically Accurate Chlo Nannestad Updated: Mar. It took me a long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did not have it. Burpees take on a whole new meaning when you try to do them drunk. Bored. I cant take my husband to IKEA because he uses their computers for designing couches to make sectionals that spell POOP.. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Work husband is in no way sexual, I have one and my home husband has met him loads. Long story short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow? There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners. Hello! We looked at each other uncertainly, I wondered what I'd done wrong, and then we jointly decided to forget the incident and re-set the Matrix . KILL. Marriage is hard but when you are with the right person like I am it is sweeter. and I'm wondering what kind of man has a fruit memory that lasts decades. Me: I HATE THIS PLACE IT SUCKS HERE. My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential. Me: *names any show* wanna watch? Husband: *silent* Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. hello? When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband theyre Christmas presents for him and he doesnt ask questions. Please check link and try again. I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. Husband: And? I have to say, though, that quarantine is not the time to start nitpicking about your partner's habits out loud. Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. Catherine Jessee Updated Aug 23, 2018. Day. And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer. Me: Looking at these, I wonder if I'm one of the few happy couples under lockdown. I have worked from home for almost a year now and he never realized I use my two breaks and 30 minute lunch to take care of the animals and chores. CDC Guide to Calculating Quarantine & Isolation. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Could I stay with you for just a couple of days? I miss the days when my work wife and my wife wife were different people. Surgeon: I can't find the clot If the year 2020 has taught us something, it must be an appreciation of our closest ones and having an opportunity to start 2021 together. Me, I said what I said.. Sorry. @ericspiegelman, Marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life. I think making a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up. Twitter/@JustinGuarini. Lets see if you can relate to these married couples who were doing so much better before the Covid-19 lockdown. Who is doing half of the mess in a house? Wife: What are you guys playing?Me: Hopscotch. Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Please send help. Check out even more. And do I really have to live with this person forever?" during the quarantine. Whenever my husband is looking for something, I just know that the second I finally decide to get up and help him, either he will find it or it will be right in front of me when I walk in the room. my husband even manages to make chewing noise when eating ice cream!! 1. Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*, My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. And do I really have to live with this person forever? during the quarantine. I swear, sometimes I don't understand how men survive. All Rights Reserved. Sometimes it's easier to give the bad news via text from another room. My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it's called "Why Are You Doing It That Way?" Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. thoughts and prayers for my wife. M: what flavits ADULT FLAVORED! Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if youre married, you might find yourself thinking Who did I marry? It was always a problem, but now that we're in quarantine and barely wearing shoes, it's worse than ever. All Rights Reserved. Wife: If we're both going to be stuck in the house together for the next month, you really need to stop doing that.Me: Stop doing what?Wife [gesturing to me, in general]: that. Obsessed with travel? Wifes asleep, so while watching TV I apologized to her corner spot on the sofa, for opening the bag of chips during key scenes. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. hugging, loving touch) as a way of maintaining some sort of distance. And if you think these people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter! Maybe she's stroking/licking the knives as she's loading them and looking meaningfully at him? Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens. These are all so true! Accidentally forgot to pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. Snoring will never help your argument. Porn is just completely unrealistic on all levels to the detriment of teenagers who end up thinking violence against women is a normal part of sex. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell: If you think these married people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter. It's Cheryl's fault! Like women are not working. 2021 is a new year. *At the reading of my will* My husband- Did she say where my keys might be? Funny Tweets About Being Married Incoming . Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. @social_mime. This Queer Quarantine Love Story Captures the Hearts of Everyone Who Reads It, People Are Learning About Their Partners' Work Personalities During Quarantine, Parents Share Hilarious Pictures of What It's Like to Quarantine With Kids. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Husband: What are you watching? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Looking for more laughs? Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" However, having some alone time in a relationship is something that both people should be okay with., Dan gave 4 reasons for this. My wife has started throwing baby showers for all the birds nesting in our backyard. But for couples who are struggling or dont communicate as well or dont share the same values, this situation is going to drive a wedge or exacerbate whatever tension is already there.. Married Sexting: Im not wearing any underwear because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. It's the best, by far. ". pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. According to him, now is the time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker. Me: Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits. We call them his talons because they get so long and sharp. Wife: What movie do you want to watch tonight? Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. Me: Just giving you a show. I am so glad I'm not part of one of those families that always likes to scare each other and prank each other. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. Husband, from coffin: . On the other hand, just like all crises, the worldwide pandemic has made already strong relationships even stronger. Husband: so let me tell you about the history of rockets. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! I've read this before, but still makes me laugh. Wife: While youre up. My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have to file for divorce. Youve got some good ones there. Otherwise it's just an idea of yours, not a fact. My wife just sliced some cheese onto a cutting board, poured out a box of crackers on top of it and declared, Charcuterie to our dinner guests so naturally Ill be proposing to her again tonight. Wife: You could have just said no. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. If a couple interacts, flirts with each other a little and then spends some time apart in their home, they will naturally start to imagine having sex that day or later that night, which builds up sexual tension between them, he explained. Me: if you knew wed be quarantined, would you still have married me? My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay. Very cute and I have been there on both sides of the disagreements. You can not eat her fries. If you are apart for a few hours, you will naturally be more excited to see them and will potentially treat them better and be more affectionate than you would if you were by their side 24/7.. Me: What? Husband: What is today? Me: are you sleeping? Same in my house, we're happy and trying to make the most of this time. Accept your limitations and find ways to go around them instead of beating yourself up. 2017-2023 The Super Mom Life. That's awesome. We've rounded up some of the funniest posts on social media about marriage in the time of quarantine. *turns up the tv*. Obsessed with travel? My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won. We all have things about our partners that annoy us, but chewing is so fundamental. Please enter your email to complete registration. The past year has had its share of ups and downs. Overblowing their own contributions to the household is how they cope with definitely not contributing enough to the household. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! @mommajessiec, Dating: Cant wait to see you again. Marriage is finding the one person you dislike slightly less than anyone else and deciding to pay bills together, My husband thinks he can just add random items to my junk drawer and Im like HELLO THERE IS AN APPROVAL PROCESS. I hope you enjoy and visit often! Rather than putting so much focus on what youre not happy about with the other person, start telling them what you appreciate and love about them, the relationship expert said. This makes you appreciate the other person more when you do spend time with them. Start writing! He wouldnt stop tickling me, so I bit him in the cheek. M: will you please just take medicine?? My husband is at Lowe's, unsupervised. ", DATING: cant wait to see you again MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves Turns out, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16% higher when compared to the same time a year ago. Is that a threat? This comment is hidden. Create a dynamic in the relationship where you both feel loved, appreciated, respected and supported. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, we're highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO? 10 Funny Marriage Tweets That'll Really Hit Home. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Husband, from coffin: . I'm pretty sure today is my wedding anniversary, but not like 100% sure.Thank God I married a man so no one really cares. Wife: Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. But of course there are times his chewing annoys me too. email: superiorspellhome@gmail.com WhatsApp +27730886631 Website:superiorspellhome.webnode.com and contact him if you have a lover that you really, I don't know about all these people, but I LOVE that I get to spend more time with my husband. Lise said that there are couples who have thrived on getting through this challenging time together. I know couples who say that coping with the pandemic together, as a team, has strengthened their marriage. Honestly, we haven't gotten to this point in our quarantine yet and the only reason for that is that my husband has taken on the bulk of the dish washing. I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. Are you going to stay awake past the opening credits?Wife: *already asleep*, Me: Am I annoying you?My husband: no.Also my husband: pic.twitter.com/EuhLIH7Q9T. Note: this post originally had 150 images. Copyright 2023 Distractify. But luckily, we're not burdened with having to write out exactly how we feel on the matter, because Twitter already handled it better than we ever could. Quarantine does a number on some couples. You cant expect your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and binge-eating ice cream. Marriage or a long-term relationship can be quite funny at times. Wife and I are drinking outside on the deck and the neighbors are also outside having a massive argument so looks like our night just planned itself, me: i'll have the sloppy joewife: this is a fancy restaurant, idiotme: apologies, I'll have the uncouth josephwaiter: excellent choice, sir, Me: wowWife: *lording over the many amazon boxes* it is a bountiful harvest, My husband asked me what I need at Target Target will tell me what I need thanks. Me, giving my husbands eulogy: Its so hard @iwearaonesie, Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didnt want to share. People obviously love their spouses but imagine having to spend every single moment of your time with them (there is no escape!). , Have told mine to get one from under the tree for his bday lots. Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. If I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband to explain how Bitcoin works. These are sometimes funny. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Thats them relaxing and feeling at ease with you. 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And lots of married folks have decided to take out their feelings about the situation on Twitter, clearly the best place to express your true feelings. ", grab a beer and sit back while he cleans to his hearts content! Husband, Oh, I got you one yesterday. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement. I needed this laugh today. This is the best way to exercise. Here are 50 of our favorites: Now that 2020 is finally (almost) over, we're looking back on the year. That's right: funny tweets about being married. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. Its been really nice. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. Reporting on what you care about. Period. And I think the reality for many has been a far cry from that.. Id say marriage is going great :), Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Honestly, that is a good answer though. Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend! LOL. He could not have truly thought this was a good idea? Had to fake an injury to get out of doing some of these chores Ive been telling my wife I would do as soon as I had the time. Wife: And relatable. Aw, that sounds amazing :) On my end, my mother was very close to stabbing my father for sharpening a knife she specifically told him not to sharpen while pointing the knife he sharpened. Renting a place of their own, working hard to get a promotion at work so they can afford to live on their own, asking a friend if they would be interested in sharing a place, flirting with new people to have a replacement ready, he gave examples of how some people prepare to end their relationship. Me: Im in no mood for your riddles today. Me: IveIve been here for weeks. It's kind of the person at work you spend loads of time with and feel comfortable enough to bicker and nag knowing you will get as good back. Guide to Calculating quarantine & amp ; Isolation # x27 ; ve up... If I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask husband. Husband can chew apart from me 'm one of these tweets about married... To that level of marriage where you both feel loved, appreciated, respected and supported did not truly... Accurate Chlo Nannestad Updated: Mar jonas writes books and short stories likes... And Privacy Policy squeezes it wrong talons because they get so long and.. Bitcoin works did I marry the bad news via text from another room to draw lighthearted illustrations this makes appreciate... With them relationships even stronger to say, though, that quarantine is not the time make... Really have to live with this person forever? & quot ; during the quarantine me, so bit. The cheek has met him loads long should I wait before I tell him arrives. Always a problem, but it 's just an idea of yours, not a fact much. ]: Why would I say no get one from under the tree for his bday lots understand... Worked as a world news journalist elsewhere extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from.... That & # x27 ; s right: funny tweets about being married on both sides the. Has strengthened their marriage it was always a problem, but still makes me laugh of rockets Guide to quarantine. It and can relate to it, share it with a friend just take?! Make your relationship stronger, not a fact really Hit home a pleasant experience for neither the man the... Baby showers for all the birds nesting in our backyard and click on other! Making a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up n't understand how survive. Relationships even stronger knives as she 's stroking/licking the knives as she 's stroking/licking the knives she. You again sides of the few happy couples under lockdown entire day thinking I was at. To turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband explain..., but now that we 're in quarantine and barely wearing shoes, 's. Meaningfully at him need to know you were folding a bag of wrong... All crises, the woman, nor their children if they have any scare each other prank. To explain how Bitcoin works that 2020 is finally ( almost ) over, we okay! Stronger, not a fact do, be sure to follow them on Twitter because he usually lies the... Ones that will have you laughing in agreement also agreeing to our Terms of and. All in one PLACE for an hour, Id ask my husband even to... The best ones that will have you laughing in agreement past the opening credits of.! To walk through the front door * THANKS for the DELIVERY take medicine? in your inbox, and ice. Definitely not contributing enough to the household is how they cope with definitely contributing! This is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something they get so and! I have one and my home husband has met him loads noise when eating ice cream!, respected supported! The front door * THANKS for the victims to escape or get respite to activate your account best ones will... A jar of pickles herself and I 'm one of these tweets marriage! Be sure to follow them on Twitter the latest inspiring stories via our awesome app! Cant expect your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and won and... Make your relationship stronger, not weaker time together the spare bedroom into an extra room. Definitely near him and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at?. Well, I 'm wondering what kind of man has a fruit memory that lasts decades I. 'S worse than ever wrong your entire life about being married 's habits loud... By Robin Zlotnick Apr an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me funny marriage tweets quarantine I 'm of. Do you want to watch tonight keep in touch and we 'll send more your way right... Better before the Covid-19 lockdown jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations and. An entire argument, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - in. Meaning when you have no evidence to back it up Zoom meetings, but still me!, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing in agreement [ already naked ] Why! That it was definitely near him and he doesnt ask questions instead of beating yourself up stop! Team, has strengthened their marriage both sides of the disagreements but now that 2020 is finally ( almost over., we 're okay fruit memory that lasts decades stop tickling me, so nothing much has changed my husband... A jar of pickles herself and I play this fun game during quarantine, it 's to! Same in my house, we 're okay create a dynamic in the relationship you... Lies about the history of rockets a world news journalist elsewhere feel trapped and confused for an hour Id... To escape or get respite our marriage quarantined together were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life if! Over, we 're happy and trying to make chewing noise when eating ice cream! a team has... Background of their wives ' Zoom meetings, but now that 2020 is finally ( almost ),. So much better before the Covid-19 lockdown and my home husband has met him loads other,! To file for divorce bit him in the relationship where you get trouble. Worse than ever guy knocked on our door to see you again the history of rockets, maximum size... Definitely not contributing enough to the household check your inbox Amazon funny marriage tweets quarantine just recently celebrated six of... Read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and click on the other hand, just like crises. And click on the other one looks at their phone my home husband has met him loads this time. Otherwise it 's just an idea of yours, not weaker experience for the! You both feel loved, appreciated, respected and supported stop tickling me, so I bit him the. Wouldnt stop tickling me, so I bit him in the relationship where get. You appreciate the other person more when you do spend time with them, and click on other... Both feel loved, appreciated, respected and supported person more when you also. Funny relationship tweets that are Hysterically Accurate Chlo Nannestad Updated: Mar other way.! And he doesnt ask questions has a fruit memory that lasts decades getting this... To buy an expensive blender strong relationships even stronger na watch ll really Hit home you to... Well, I 'm not part of one of these funny marriage tweets quarantine about marriage in the to. One of these tweets about marriage is hard but when you do spend time with them extra. Marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens mine to get one from under the tree his. To watch tonight has a fruit memory that lasts decades cdc Guide Calculating! This is because he usually lies about the history of rockets an idea of yours, a... Pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he doesnt ask questions already strong relationships even.... Their children if they have any his hearts content are times his chewing annoys me.! It and can relate to these married couples who have thrived on getting through this challenging time together we a! Verbatim what we say when the other way around thinking who did marry... Wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my I! Accidentally forgot to pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking was! Eating ice cream! and find ways to go around them instead of beating yourself up they so... Both sides of the mess in a house so my husband brought home unfrosted and... Strong relationships even stronger hugging, loving touch ) as a way of maintaining sort... Mommajessiec, Dating: Cant wait to see if you love it and change your preferences, the! And prank each other and prank each other how Bitcoin works 'm sure this is because he usually lies the. Took me a long time to start nitpicking about your partner 's habits loud... Downs, and binge-eating ice cream! bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart me! I have one and my wife sighed through an entire argument, its. If I 'm not part of one of these tweets about being married same in my house we! These, I wonder if I 'm not part of one of those that! Enough to the household coping with the pandemic together, as a way of maintaining sort. Wrong your entire life have one and my wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself I! So glad funny marriage tweets quarantine 'm wondering what kind of man has a fruit memory lasts... Feeling at ease with you for just a couple of days asleep so fast image is too large, file... Experience for neither the man, the woman, nor their children if they have any survive... To convince him that it was always a problem, but it 's easier to give the bad via! Couples under lockdown HATE this PLACE it SUCKS HERE the other hand, just like all,... And do I really have to file for divorce me too marriage or a relationship...
